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Modest is Hottest and Judgmental Women

16 September 2013

I had an awesome weekend! Did you? I was a chaperon for a youth event at our church called "Just Girls." Our youth group starts in 6th grade and includes high school, so the goal of the event was to just hang out, get to know each other, and have a blast at minimum! I think we definitely achieved all of that. While planning, it dawned on me that some of these girls will never have experience a good old-fashioned sleepover without technology. I mean do you remember being dropped off at a friend's house and you didn't hear or see your parents again let alone friends outside of the party until they picked you up the next day? You spent the night watching movies, playing games, painting nails, playing truth or dare, and snacking the night away to the early morning hours in a sleeping bag on the floor. 

Fifteen girls showed up which was awesome!!! We did all of the things you do in a traditional sleepover but my favorite part of the night was the devotion. I had a senior high school student lead and she did an awesome job. She talked about how Modest is Hottest, which later became the theme of the night. The 20 minute devotion went on for 2.5 hours because the girls kept talking, asking questions, and sharing their experiences. It was awesome!!

The one thing that I noticed during our discussion reflects the sentiment of the quote above. Life is very hard for a girl starting especially in middle school. I heard their pain and their struggles with who they are and how they relate to the world as well as each other. We talked about how the world sees women and the "role models" in the media. Although the points that we made were valid relative to modesty, as soon as pictures of Lady Gaga, Miley and Kim Kardashian came up we tore them apart with our words. Now, it is beyond clear these girls in the media and modesty often don't go hand-in-hand, it illustrated the point that women are so judgmental. towards each other. 

Is it insecurity that drives us to be judgmental? Why do we, as women, have the power to tear each other down?   


  1. Sarah, I've seen this quote before and I literally couldn't say it any better. What a great opportunity to see this and address this with teenage girls, while they're young and impressionable. Think about how different things could be if we, as women, built each other up instead of judging and tearing each other down. Thanks for sharing!

  2. I loved all of your pictures on Instagram! It looked like you were having a great time :)

  3. I love it! My youth group kiddos struggle to find topics to discuss. We're always talking about the same things it feels like, and we've only got a group of about 10 of us as we're from a small town but I'd love to start doing more to get them involved!

  4. I've experienced the same thing with the high school bible study I led - we were talking about character traits of a godly woman and the girls starting going off on one of their classmates! My only explanation is that, while insecurity plays a role in many cases, the effect of elevating the "judger" is strong enough to be another root cause. Girls see it as a way to separate themselves from traits that they don't like - if I call a girl 'ugly' it means that I'm not ugly, if I say someone is fat, it's because I'm not fat, etc. Even in cases like your story, "If I say Kim K. doesn't dress modestly and doesn't have good values, it implies that I dress more modestly and therefore have better values." Just my two cents :) I love that you posed this question// thanks for sharing!