Women inherently carry a lot of stress. From managing expectations, appearance, work, home, husbands, parents, kids, friends and self it is a lot to deal with. I don't know about you, but I reach this critical threshold or "glass ceiling" where all of a sudden I've lost my balance and can't take one more thing on my plate. Have you experienced the same?
Recently, I've been quite busy at work trying to finish a research manuscript so that I can begin to write my dissertation and obtain my Ph.D. in Immunology. I am tired and worn out beyond measure. Then add to it blogging, my home [which is a wreck], my family, working to keep up with Youth at church and my marriage. Already a lot to juggle. I was in a meeting with the 4 other folks in my lab. We were called to assemble because my lab manage gave her two-weeks notice. I am so proud of her for moving on to bigger and better things! My only problem is that she has been my one champion, an intercessor on my behalf to my boss who has less experience dealing with women than a cloistered monk.
It was during that meeting that "my plate" started spilling over and falling all over the floor and all it took was a tone of "you don't matter" in my boss' voice in response to a question about my role once our lab manager departs. I started to cry. Right there in the meeting. And it wouldn't stop. I cried for 5 solid hours. The tears wouldn't stop coming. When I thought that I'd be done...nope more tears would stream down my face. I went home crying, fell asleep crying and woke up crying as I thought about the way I was treated, the things on my plate, the world...etc.
Do you have a "personal policy" for crying at work or in front of your boss? On one hand it shows weakness and vulnerability but on the other I pray that my boss' social awkwardness makes him walk on egg shells around me for the remainder of my stay in his tutelage. When I went in the next day, it was like nothing had happened. No one really talked to me, which is normal.